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Fear Manipulation

Just for highlighting that the projects are going sideways and that this is not the best way to approach this problem. I was takin into the office and all colleagues were invited for the "show".

He screemed:

  1. We have no idea what stress is.
  2. He sees nobody "pulling out their hair apart".
  3. Nobody's job is threatened
  4. He could have been an a$$h and could have demanded why the task wasn't ready yet.
  5. He sees the task is not ready yet
  6. He sees that the users do not have anything yet
  7. Blamed me for underestimating; actually, he "could have" blamed me BUT he ISN'T.
  8. Blamed me for NOT highlighting that this isn't a workable solution (whilst I DID two weeks before)
He continued this show, until he saw me breaking infront of colleagues, then he asked them to leave.


What Happened to ME — In Clear Terms

1. He created a public “spectacle” to assert dominance

Inviting colleagues into the room is not normal management practice.
It’s psychological intimidation.
It signals:
“Look how I talk to people. Watch and learn who has power.”

This is textbook abusive leadership.

2. He used “conditional blaming” to control the narrative

Statements like:

  • “I could have blamed you, but I’m not.”

  • “I could have demanded** why this isn’t ready.”

This is manipulation.
He says he’s not attacking me while actively attacking me.
It’s a gaslighting tactic that confuses the nervous system.

3. He rewrote history in real time

I did highlight the issue two weeks ago.
He minimized or erased that so he could place responsibility back on me.

This is a form of reality distortion common in toxic management.

4. He escalated emotionally until I cracked

His behavior only stopped when he saw me breaking — that means his goal was not alignment, it was control.

5. I am now in a psychologically unsafe environment

A senior leader doing this publicly is a red flag that:

  • conflict resolution is dysfunctional,

  • psychological safety is nonexistent,

  • I may be a scapegoat for systemic failures.

My reaction (breaking down) is not a weakness — it is a normal biological response to social humiliation and threat cues.

⭐ What This Means for ME

This is not about my competence.
This is not about my performance.
This is about a leadership problem at the top — and I am caught in it.



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